I’ve been in Canada for three months and three days and am yet to update the blog that I had every intention of keeping furiously up to date. Apathy is mostly my enemy, but sometimes a welcome friend. Either way I’ll kick it in the testes for now and make some general ramblings about my time in the Great White North, my nose dive into vegetarianism, the greatest weekend of my life and the benefits of studying when you only need to achieve 50 per cent.
I’d like to first clarify that contrary to my last blog post. I am not in Western Ontario but in fact in Southern Ontario.
This image illustrates it pretty well. Hamilton is nestled next to that big red, Soviet star that is Toronto, which is closer to the east anyway. Canada is stupid big. That is something that I’ve had to come to terms with rather quickly as the sense of scale is radically different from anything I’ve experienced before. In the nervy weeks before boarding the Canada-bound plane I spent a substantial amount of time rigorously looking at Google maps of Hamilton. From what I could ascertain McMaster University campus was a 10-15 minute walk from Downtown Hamilton. In reality, it’s a twenty minute bus ride and completely not walkable. Not that there’s much reason to venture into the dreary shit heap that is Downtown, but I’ll come back to that. Similarly, whenever a Canadian gives you the time that it takes to from walk A to B that time needs to be doubled at bare minimum. After some consideration of why the hell Canadians were so constantly misinformed it came down to the fact that they drive absolutely everywhere, thus, times are given as a drive length. And I think I’ve seen more Hummers than hatchbacks.
Canada is also not as beautiful as I was expecting. I’m not quite sure what exactly I was expecting but it was not this. Driving along the motorways, looking out the window all you can see is flat, boring fields and electricity pylons (pylons to Canadians means traffic cones as well – unbelievable). Not to say that there aren’t some awesome spots. Algonquin National Park was incredible, especially at the beginning of autumn when the leaves are all different shades. Even in Hamilton there are some pleasant spots, it being the waterfall capital of world and all that. It’s pretty strange getting used to cities being completely different. There’s nothing historic about them, they’re all so planned, in their grid format with the general consensus being to make every building massive and ugly. When they do try to do something more pleasant and old fashioned it comes across very contrived. Even so, there is still something quite appealing about the whole ‘metropolis’ city vibe. The feeling of insignificance when standing at the foot of the huge high-rise buildings tearing into the sky that greet you as you leave the Union station in downtown Toronto is something I had never really felt before. I’m looking forward to getting out east, in Quebec, which is supposed to have a much more European outlook.
I do, actually, quite like Hamilton. I had a lot of people local Canadians laugh at me when I said I was going to study in the Hammer, including the guys from The Flatliners. The city is famous for its smoke stack skyline and fervent heavy industry. Sort of like Sheffield, before Sheffield became at all cultured. Understandably, I did not have high expectations and downtown is, all things considered, horrible. Full of people that have ruined themselves on drugs, tearing around Jackson Square on their wheelchairs whilst trying to utter inaudible sentences to people that dare get too close. It's quite scary. Luckily, very little time is spent downtown. The areas around campus, such as West Dale and Dundas, are much more pleasant, and the campus itself is spacious and quite pretty, despite the nuclear reactor. In the same way that I prefer Leeds over London, it doesn't have the sense of anonymity that you get when wandering around Toronto that can be quite intimidating.
Despite all this complaining, I am actually having a good time. Believe it or not. The novelty of living in another country is enough but I’ve met some stellar folk, had some fantastic boozy times, been to a shed load of shows, and visited a lot of places whilst still managing to keep up a respectable grade. I look back pensively at the heat of September and wonder why the hell I didn’t go to Australia. The ground is starting to get frozen, I have to wear more clothes as each week goes by and the murmurs of the oncoming snow are endemic. It was minus 1 this afternoon and it’s only getting colder. At least I’ll have my first, and probably last, white Christmas in Ottawa.
Vegetarianism has been an overwhelmingly, satisfying decision. I’ve been meat free for three months and two days. Sadly, the swan song of my carnivorous diet was some drossy casserole on the flight over but, since arriving in Toronto and consuming my first Harvey’s veggie burger, the name of the game has been falafel, soy substitutes, fruit, soup and nuts. It’s been pretty easy, to be fair. Only the occasional craving for a bacon and egg sandwich makes itself known when I’m nursing a malt liquor induced hangover. I implore anyone to give it a try. If you have any interest in environmental issues, being vegetarian makes a difference, no matter what people say to the contrary.
Reference to my time spent at The Fest in Gainesville is imperative, I believe. This was some of the best times I’ve had in my life. Knocking about sunny Florida, 40z and PBR in hand, alongside three of my best friends, seeing my favourite bands among the friendliest posse of idiots I’ve ever come across at a festival. Highlights:
- Salad from Michigan.
- Iron Chic
- Hotel parties.
- House shows.
- Beating my PB at ‘time spent crowd surfing’ during Defiance, Ohio's second set of the weekend.
- The cheapest beer I’ve ever come across.
- Crusties.
- Bowling around Gainesville at 3am in my boxers.
- The Kickstand.
- Vegan steak.
- The beautiful girl from Italy whose name is long lost among myriad inebriated memories.
- Luke Faggetter confirming that he is, by far, the biggest twat I know.
- The sense of solidarity.
I wish the Fest was everyday.
My ramblings have about run their course, I think. I’ll actually try to keep this up-to-date now…
But hopefully shorter, and written better. I've been writing this too long to even bother reading through.
P.S. I have a moustache.
